Edition No. 019 - Flying Turtle Post Intelligencer Archive

^{Flying Turtle} Post Intelligencer Weekly

No. 019 Practical Workshop Improvements for the Industrious at Heart - 2009/7/11 11:30 PM

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BREAKING: Weekly Volcano drops Tacomic™ Syndication

The following is an interview with a real reporter for the City Arts Tacoma magazine.

TIM: I'm doing a piece on the Volcano's changes. Do you think Tacomic™ was dropped because it doesn't fit into the paper's new mission as an arts and entertainment publication?

RR: The Tacomic™ was dropped along with the news/opinion/editorial bundle to save money as it is going back to its roots as a vapid arts/entertainment section to the Fort Lewis Ranger military newspaper. Now there is no difference between the volcano and the fort lewis ranger. They are the same newspaper... only the cover sheet is different. Last year they switched from the standard newspaper format to a tabloid format adding alternative news in an attempt to be Tacoma's version of THE STRANGER, as it stands now given the economy, the volcano alternative NEWSpaper experiment is over. I'm told the cutbacks were made because not nearly enough used car dealerships, strip clubs or casino ads could be sold. I believe however it has more to do with a conspiracy to silence the Northwest Detention Center and anti-condo articles that were seeping in and upsetting the PRO-business folks. The Tacomic had a good run. It was a sad break up.

TIM: Do you think the Watada and Who Controls Local Media comics got you in trouble?

RR: I don't believe those cartoons made me any fans at the volcano but they sucked it up and ran them like a man. The only cartoons they ultimately censored was the cartoon critical of the fucking tacoma airshow and the cartoon making fun of the butt-ugly emerald queen casino electric billboard the size of the empire state building on I-5... They will never run anything that ill jeopardize their business relationship with the casino industrial complex or any material that would be offensive to the general's wife. I also forgot to mention the cartoon critical of the Broadway Center for the Performing Arts' decision to cancel the hip hop concert when the Tacoma Police said they saw 'gang signs' on some kid's myspace page who was a cousin of one of the hip hop dude's promoters or something. It was total bullcrap! but the volcano didn't run it because they didn't want to offend the blue haired old ladies who shop a macy's. Anyhow before they purchased syndication rights to my Tacomic (a labor of love) the volcano named me as best gadfly in an old 'best of tacoma' issue. They knew I was a lose cannon. They got their monies worth.

TIM: Or can they just no longer afford to pay you $2,600.66 a month? Is that what they paid? What are they paying Matt (who I'll talk to tomorrow)?

RR: They were paying me a modest sum in addition to a ad space I could do anything with. The syndication fee is pretty reasonable and negotiated in secret. The number above is pure fiction. Matt is a full time employee who specializes in the Tacoma music scene. He has health benefits and everything. They would never tell me what they paid him but it's probably another highway robbery.

TIM: Is the Volcano now no longer an alternative weekly? What is an alternative weekly?

RR: The volcano's days as an alternative weekly will live on in the pages of history. I will never forget that brief shining moment when their star burned bright as "Tacoma's The Stranger". It is every alternative weekly's dream to be the stranger. Sadly there can be only one The Stranger

TIM: Where do we find Tacomic™ from now on? Will you still do it?

RR: the Tacomic is an eternal force of nature living on feedtacoma.com Downtown Tacoma's ONLY hyper-local editorial cartoon. The tacomic is issued under a creative commons license, published live every Tuesday Morning. The original hand-drawn cartoon art is available for purchase the same day at a reasonable price. Every tacomic sold is personally inscribed with an inspirational message for optimal moral uplift. Fan club kits are also available here

Also also, expect a complete collection of tacomics in hard cover book form sometime in December 2010. Symposium at kings books & Signed first editions coming soon.

What's the difference between the Volcano and the Ranger in terms of editorial identity?

RR: Nowadays? depressingly No difference. A millitary media-handjob. Previously? It was Tacoma's last best hope for an "edgy" alternative press.

TIM: Do they have any readers in common?

RR: The same idiots. Though people used to the old volcano are now off put by all the military articles. Nothing says arts and entertainment like dudes in cammo chopping man-shaped targets in half with automatic assault rifles.

TIM: Would it be fair to call the Volcano's readers young hipsters and the Ranger's mostly young people, some hipsters with new haircuts?

RR: Young people don't read the volcano. It's targeted at aged hipsters who like reading about throwing up in bars, but people who throw up in bars don't read. This is why the newspaper industry as a whole is going in the toilet. Blame craigslist and their exotic escort services. The only thing keeping them going is casino advertisements. Think about people who like going into casinos and resist the urge to commit suicide... that's what I do when I have to imagine the people getting enjoyment from this publication.

TIM: Does the Ecstasy OD party scandal suggest that young people are young people, regardless of whether they're on or off base?

RR: Young people are stupid. Yes.

TIM: Any thoughts you might have on this transition are welcome.

RR: Now is a great time to start investing in gold and shot gun ammunition. Stocks and Paper money will be meaningless in the imminent "zombie apocalypse" economy. Newspapers, Government will fall but I, RR Anderson your friendly neighborhood cartoonist will still be here sharpened pencil in hand churning political cartoons like nobody's business.

Culture Arts Specialist Reader

Cartoonist's League of Absurd Washingtonians (C.L.A.W.) Digest

HFW Website Updates

HFW now on TWITTER®, FACE BOOK® and FLICKR®. Looking for Tacomic™ Purchase information? or maybe the latest Frost Park Chalk Challenge Champion stats? Your destiny is one mouse click away. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! Need to contact us by phone? We now have a google voice mail box. Our googlebot operators are standing by: CALL (253) 778-6786 Thus concludes another Flying Turtle Post Intelligencer Weekly Update

Thats Talent! Holistic Forge Works' Weekly Atom-O-Toon™ Cartoon

Catch up on past Cartoons! Review our Atom-O-Toon™ Greatest Hits.

Employee Cultural Arts Recommendations
Format	Product Identification(s)
Audio	Joe Lonergan for City Council No. 5 (melon podcast)
Video	Bruce Sterling - reboot 11 closing talk vs. Juan Enriquez: The Next Boom, by Zipcode
Print	Desert solitaire; a season in the wilderness / Abbey, Edward, 1927-1989
Status	sick with baby germs

Edition No. 019, FTPI Archive